Beefcake & Retakes Read online

  She didn’t want to think about anything being over, but Nana’s illness had brought home the fact that she couldn’t take anything for granted. That there might not be a tomorrow so she shouldn’t live with regrets. And if all she could have of Tanner was this one night, she was going to take it.

  She couldn’t not take it. “I understand.”

  “Don’t go getting any ideas that this is going to be a happily-ever-after. I have a life elsewhere that I intend to go back to.”

  Except for the fact that he was talking about opening up a franchise here.

  But she wasn’t going to mention that. Not now.

  “I understand, Tanner.”

  “Do you? Are you sure? Or is this the champagne talking?”

  She mulled that around in her brain. Ran her tongue along her teeth and the inside of her cheeks. Not a trace of champagne to be found and her mind was as clear as day. Somewhere along the line, the haze of alcohol had given way to the haze of seduction and that was one she’d much prefer any day. “Not a lick of champagne to be had. Kissing me senseless has the added bonus of sobering me up, remember?”

  It was as if she’d said some magic word or something because Tanner was on her so quickly, she couldn’t catch a breath.

  Not that it mattered; she would have lost it anyway.

  God, she loved kissing him. Loved being held by him, caught up in his big, strong arms that had swept her off her feet more times than she could count.

  She was adding one more to the list because sweep her he did.

  And then he was moving. Across the living room and nudging the door to her bedroom open with his foot, then striding to the bed and standing her on it.

  “On your knees, woman,” he growled when his hands slid to her butt.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and lowered herself to her knees so their mouths were at the perfect height.

  Tanner claimed them as if he were starving. She ought to know because she was.

  He’d tasted amazing out there in the living room, but that had been a questioning kiss. One she wasn’t sure would be repeated. This one, however… He was here, in her bedroom, and he’d stay for as long as it took them to fully enjoy each other.

  For Juliet, that would be about eighty years.

  “Touch me, Tanner.” That could be the remnants of the champagne talking, but Juliet doubted it. She didn’t need any false courage to want Tanner, and now that he was here, onboard with the plan, she definitely didn’t. The chemistry between them would take care of the rest.

  His hand slid over her collarbone, his fingers dancing along it delicately, but with enough fire to make her burn. And enough deliberateness to make her impatient.

  “Lower.”

  “I’m getting there, babe. Don’t be in such a hurry.”

  Seven years and he wasn’t in a hurry? Either she didn’t do to him what he did to her or the man had plans for her.

  She shivered, praying it was the latter.

  Then she shivered again because his lips moved to her throat, mouthing kisses down it, following the path his fingers had taken.

  The fingers that were finally moving lower.

  Her breasts ached, swelling for his touch, her nipples peaking even before he got to them, fire sizzling through her and spiraling down to her core. God, she wanted him.

  “Jesus, Juliet, you still smell the same. Those damn bluebonnets.”

  She didn’t know why they were damned; he’d always loved them before. Loved the memory of that field they’d made love in.

  She shivered again when he slid the strap of her dress off her shoulder.

  “I want you naked.”

  Well so did she.

  Juliet let go of his shoulders—reluctantly, but it was for the greater good for both of them. The quicker she got naked, the quicker he would, too, and then they’d both be happy.

  She undid the buttons up from her waistline, her fingers meeting his mouth between her breasts.

  He nipped her fingers and she slid them in and out of his lips for a few seconds before the temptation to be naked won out, and she tugged her fingers away so she could shrug out of the sleeves of her dress

  “Beautiful.” His hot breath slid over her breasts, her nipples straining against the fabric of her bra.

  She raised her hands to undo the front clasp, but Tanner waved them away. “Allow me.”

  Oh she’d allow him anything his heart desired.

  One twist of his fingers and her bra was open and then, thankyoulord, his hands were on her breasts, stroking them, clutching them, tugging at her nipples.

  She’d always had sensitive nipples, but it’d been seven long years—if he kept doing that any longer, it was going to be over before she was ready for it to be.

  “I want to touch you, Tan.” She ran her hands down his sides, bunching the golf shirt at the hem and shoving it up, running her hands up his abs. “You have great abs.”

  “Glad you approve.”

  There was a chuckle in his voice—they’d always been playful during sex, but she wasn’t in a chuckling mood. She was in a growling mood. A nipping mood. An I-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off mood.

  She didn’t rip his shirt, exactly, but she did rip it off over his head and flung it around her room somewhere. She’d worry about that later.

  “Oh, God, Tan. It’s been so long.” She hadn’t meant to mention the time frame because she didn’t want him thinking exactly how long it had been, but she couldn’t help herself. She’d had her memories, but nothing—not even that show he’d put on for the couple dozen or so women in the nightclub—could compare to the actual experience of running her palms along those smooth, taut muscles and that dusting of blond hair that felt so good against her breasts.

  And her lips.

  Tanner groaned. Then sucked in a breath when she found his nipple. “Damn, woman.”

  “You like this.” It wasn’t a question because she knew exactly what he liked.

  He groaned when she cupped him.

  Moaned when she ran her hand along the length of him.

  Hissed when she stroked him through his shorts.

  “Let’s get these off.” She needed to touch him. Needed to be mashed up next to him and feel how much he wanted her.

  Needed to take him inside her… and never let go.

  Who was she kidding? She’d never let him go even when she should have and she probably never would. The divorce would be tough, but she’d have this memory to help her get through it.

  She worked the button on his waistband, loving the way his stomach muscles contracted as her knuckles brushed against him.

  “You’re killing me, Jules.”

  “You are not dying on me, Tanner Wentworth. Don’t even think about it.”

  His breathing got harsh as she slid the zipper down, being ever so careful because she knew he often went commando.

  Today was no different.

  “Oh, my,” she breathed as she captured the weight of him in her palm.

  Oh my indeed. This was hers. He was hers. And somehow she had to make him see that. They were too good together for a divorce. And she didn’t mean just physically. But this was her starting point, so she’d go with it.

  “Shit.”

  Or not…

  Juliet looked up at him. “What?” Please don’t ask me to stop. Please please please don’t ask that. Anything but that.

  “Condom.”

  Condom. Dammit. She knew she should have bought them, but she didn’t want it to look as if she’d been prepping for this. Manipulating him into it. “I don’t have any.”

  “I do.”

  Her eyes shot to his. “You do?” Dare she hope? Had he been planning this?

  He nodded and pulled back out of her grasp.

  She had to let him go.

  “Occupational hazard. If I have to fill in for someone and need to change costumes, I don’t want my junk coming in contact with fabric someone else’s junk has been in conta
ct with. So I wear condoms.”

  “Well.” She sat back on her thighs and shoved her dress down to her knees. “The unknown facts about exotic dancers. Most people would think you’re all about wild sex and letting it all hang out. Interesting to know you, um, cover up, as it were.”

  “Is that what you think, Juliet? That I’m all about free love with anyone?”

  “Tanner, if I thought that, we wouldn’t be here right now. Can you please go get those condoms?”

  “Condoms? Plural?”

  She cocked her head, letting her hair fall over one breast. “When have you ever known us to need only one?”

  “Good point.”

  She thought so. She also thought about plural condoms so she could make love to him until he couldn’t see straight so he’d never be able to walk away again. She hoped he brought enough.

  Maybe she ought to pick up a few boxes the next time she was out in case he hadn’t.

  As she shimmied out of her dress, her body was humming at the thought of making love with him—not just now, but tomorrow. The day after. Every day until he decided to leave—

  Or decided he didn’t want to leave.

  Don’t go there, Juliet. Don’t open your heart up to even more heartbreak. Bad enough you’re going to be crying over this when he leaves, let’s not add unrealistic expectations to the mix. You’re an adult now. You know how this works. Enjoy the moment and let the future take care of itself. If you’d done that years ago, you wouldn’t be in this mess.

  Her conscience was seriously threatening to kill her buzz altogether—the sexual one, not the alcohol one because the champagne was long out of her system.

  Thankfully, Tanner walked back into the room then. “Here we go.” He held up a couple of foil packets. “Do you have a color preference?”

  “No. Just grab one and get back here.” She sat back up on her knees and held out her hand.

  Tanner sucked in a harsh breath as he dropped the condoms in her palm. “God, Jules, you are beautiful.”

  “You make me feel beautiful.” It was true. Yes, she knew what she looked like—she did look in the mirror after all, and after having gone through the pageant circuit, she couldn’t not be aware of her looks—but Tanner made her feel beautiful in ways all the accolades and pretty words couldn’t. He made her feel wanted—and not because of her looks, though she did like that he liked looking at her, that he found her pretty enough to stare at for hours on end. Which he’d done back in the day. She would call it the blush of first love, but that feeling had never gone away. No matter how many people told her she was pretty or beautiful, only Tanner’s opinion mattered. She wanted to be pretty for him.

  She set all but one condom on the nightstand then held out her hand to him. “Let me make you feel beautiful.”

  He shoved his shorts down his legs and reached for the condom.

  “Let me.” She tore the foil then unrolled the condom down the length of him, loving how he jerked under her hands. Loving the hard, pulsing strength of him in her grip. God, how she wanted him inside her.

  He slid his hand beneath her neck and tugged her closer. “Damn it, woman, you drive me insane.”

  She was going to go with a good insane instead of the one he actually might mean, because she was going to enjoy this. Reality would come back soon enough.

  She wrapped her arms around his back as he kissed her, his tongue making the motions she wanted that part that was pressed against her ribcage to make inside her.

  She gripped his butt and pulled him closer, wanting to get him off balance and fall onto her, taking her down onto the bed, his weight covering her.

  “Careful, babe,” he said as he did fall over her, bracing himself with his palms planted on the mattress. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  She clamped both hands behind his neck and pulled him down onto her, not wanting to think about getting hurt. That was probably a given, but not now. Now was all about making each other feel good.

  “I want you inside me, Tanner.”

  The words sparked a frenzy she hadn’t expected. Oh, she appreciated it, but all of a sudden, Tanner was on top of her, his cock pressing against her abdomen so insistently, and he was kissing her as if he couldn’t get enough of her.

  Juliet kissed him back almost desperately, but then, maybe she was. This had to go well. It had to open some doors for them. To at least the possibility of… what? Staying married? Living together?

  Juliet! Get your head back to this moment. Now. Not the future. You can’t count on the future, so enjoy what you have now.

  “Move back some.” Tanner said it harshly while sliding a hand under her back and lifting her toward the head of the bed.

  She scrambled as best she could to help him move her, the action bringing her into contact with most of his body. Every place he touched her lit up like a fireworks display. God, she wanted this man. This one. No other. There’d never been anyone else for her, not even those four years he’d been away at college. Oh, she’d dated a few guys, but she’d never done more than kiss them—because kissing them hadn’t been better than kissing Tanner, and none of their kisses had led her to losing her mind with desire like one kiss from Tanner could.

  And he was doing a whole lot more than kissing her now.

  His hand raked down her arm to clasp her fingers. He brought their joined hands up between them and he kissed each finger, then flattened her palm against his chest. “Touch me, Juliet.”

  She needed no further urging. Palm flat against his pectoral, she circled his nipple, feeling it tighten. Tanner liked her to play with his nipples and she was more than happy to oblige.

  She wiggled some more, opening her legs so he could lay between them, and she brought her other hand up to his other pec.

  “God, yes, Jules. It feels so good.”

  He propped himself up on his palms, his back arched so his lower half was in direct contact with hers.

  She circled his nipples again, flicking them when he groaned.

  “God, yes, babe, that’s it.”

  It was it; she could feel the growing evidence against her.

  God, she wanted him inside her so badly. Had imagined it for years and now… Now… It might finally happen.

  She opened her legs a little more, lifted one heel onto the back of his calf.

  It did the trick. He slammed a kiss onto her mouth and thrust up inside her.

  Juliet froze. The sensation… It was almost painful. Almost too tight. But the way he filled her… Maybe it wasn’t so much a physical filling as an emotional one. He filled her. In every way. Her body, her mind… her heart.

  She would never stop loving Tanner. Never. And as he thrust inside her—as he made love to her—she tried to show him that in every way she could without saying it. Because saying it would send him running.

  She wrapped her legs around him to keep him in place and matched his rhythm.

  “Ah, Juliet.” He nuzzled her cheek. “You are so beautiful.”

  She smiled then because she couldn’t not smile. “I l—” Hell, the words were almost too easy to say. “I like that you think so, Tanner.” She blinked back some tears that were building behind her eyes. She couldn’t cry in front of him. He knew her. Knew her too well. Had teased her about crying when they made love; said it was all the love she had inside her that came spilling out.

  It was so very true.

  She reached up to kiss him, needing to not speak because she couldn’t trust herself not to say the words she so very much wanted to say.

  He kissed her back, his body moving quicker against hers, his thrusts becoming deeper, his body trembling.

  She locked her ankles and moved with him, feeling the tension build inside her.

  God, she loved this man. Wanted nothing more than to be here, like this, with him for the rest of their lives.

  “God, Juliet, I can’t…” His breath was harsh in her ear, sending shivers through her. “I need…”

  “I
know, Tanner, I know.” She moved under him, using her heels for leverage, wanting—no needing—him to keep going.

  He thrust into her faster, his skin slick against hers, the scent and sound of him loving her taking her higher, and she could feel desire beginning to spiral low in her belly.

  She arched up into him.

  “That’s it, babe. Come for me.” He panted the words as a litany with every thrust and Juliet felt it rise within her.

  She clutched his back, raked her nails across his skin, her breaths coming short and quick. Wanting to say the words, but wouldn’t.

  But she could think them.

  I love you, Tanner. I love you, Tanner.

  “God, yes, Juliet. Don’t stop.”

  She’d never stop loving him. Ever.

  She clenched him inside her, loving how he felt there. Loving how he made her feel everywhere.

  “Oh, Tanner…” She bit back the words. But she couldn’t stop the feeling inside her. Her heart swelled with the emotions she had for this man, and her body… dear God, her body was on fire, wanting to take him to heaven, wanting to give him so much pleasure.

  He kissed her then and that was it. She could no more hold back her orgasm then she could the love she felt for him, and she came, pouring every bit of love into the kiss she gave him as she did.

  Tanner’s world was rocked.

  Utterly and completely turned upside down, inside out, backwards, forwards, sideways and any other way he couldn’t think about.

  Jesus God, Juliet.

  He jerked against her, the need to move inside her urging him on long after he’d come. But he couldn’t stop. He needed to feel her around him. Needed to know he was inside her.

  Where you belong.

  That damn voice. It wasn’t his libido talking this time; his libido was over on the floor twitching, humming to itself in satisfaction.

  No, this was his conscience. His right-from-wrong, His morality. His sense of self. And it was telling him he belonged here?

  Had the world just gone nuts?

  He didn’t belong here—but he was dammed if he could move away.

  He exhaled and let his weight fall onto Juliet. She wouldn’t mind. He knew from past experience.

  Another argument in his conscience’s artillery.