Beefcake & Retakes Page 19

  She didn’t want to think about him waking up. How he looked with sleep-hooded eyes, and his hair all mussed, and his chest… Tanner had slept naked for as long as she’d been sleeping with him. Which wasn’t nearly as much as she wanted it to be.

  The head of accounting poked his head out of his office. “Juliet, got a minute?”

  Not really. She wanted to get to the executive washroom and run cool water over her wrists because memories of Tanner heated her in a way she didn’t need in this weather.

  “Sure, Jim, what’s up?”

  He walked out of his office and flipped open a file. “There are some capital expenditures that your father wanted us to make next quarter and I’m not sure we’ll want to do that cash outlay now that… well, we’re not sure if the focus of the transportation arm is going to be as aggressive as it had been projected to be.”

  Her father had been all about growing the company but he’d known the business from the ground up. Juliet was still learning the ropes, and while she wanted to adhere to her father’s vision, she didn’t want to do so blindly. Slowing the pace might be best so she could evaluate the future of the company. Even with Dad’s guidance, she was the one calling the shots so she wanted to understand every nuance before making a decision.

  “Can you set up a meeting this afternoon—oh, darn. I forgot. I have to take my grandmother out.” Juliet pinched the bridge of her nose. Work days following sleepless nights weren’t the best of times any way you sliced it; toss in an appointment and a sudden meeting, and her day got thrown even more off-kilter than it’d started.

  She was kidding herself; that’d happened the day Tanner had arrived.

  “Check with Maggie and see if she can move my morning appointments to tomorrow, then set up a meeting with Scott, Bill, and Madison as soon as possible. I want everyone weighing in on this issue.”

  “Will do.” Jim nodded and headed toward Juliet’s assistant, Maggie’s, desk.

  First wrinkle in her day.

  Well at least it kept her from thinking about Tanner.

  Tanner couldn’t stop thinking about Juliet.

  He climbed out of bed, grimacing at the morning wood that was way too interested in wondering if Juliet was still in the house.

  He stepped into a pair of shorts. Probably should have slept in them last night, but part of him had wanted to not need them.

  Except he’d done nothing about it.

  That was because, while hanging out in her living room the past couple of nights with her sitting there, looking so darn cute as she played with the kitten—and then so damn hot as she headed into her bedroom—had been torture, rational thought had kept him rooted in his chair with his focus on the laptop screen. Once was allowed; curiosity, old times’ sake, whatever he wanted to call it, they were allowed that one night. But to continue… That’d be setting up something he wasn’t prepared for.

  Something he didn’t want.

  Sure about that? Your not-so-little friend this morning says otherwise.

  He swiped a hand over his face. Yeah, sure, he wanted her. That was never in question. It was all the stuff that came with her: relationship, trust, family… They’d tried that not once, but twice, and well, their track record pretty much sucked.

  Third time could be the charm, buddy.

  Or it could be the one that did him in.

  No thank you. He had has life planned and it didn’t include Juliet.

  Thankfully, she wasn’t in the house when he left his room. He checked the garage. The Mercedes was gone, but the Towne Car was on the left side of the driveway where Steve had left it. Or whoever had dropped it off.

  He opened the front door and dug around in the planter for the key, then called Rick to set up getting together when he dropped Juliet and her grandmother off at the salon later.

  He grabbed a quick shower and was making himself breakfast when he heard the kitten mewing in the laundry room. Poor thing must be lonely.

  Tanner opened the door and she darted out, rolling over herself in her dash for freedom. “Hey, you. Come here.”

  Nope, she kept running, straight into Juliet’s bedroom.

  Of course.

  Tanner sighed and followed her. Weren’t cats believed to be instruments of the devil in the old days? He could understand why.

  He paused at Juliet’s bedroom door. The last time he’d been here for more than a few seconds, she’d invited him. Now it almost seemed wrong.

  Until he saw the kitten hanging from the curtain rod. Upside down.

  “Come here, you little heathen.” He reached for her, but she scrambled onto the top of the rod, Juliet’s curtains gaining a couple of slices in the process.

  “Houdini, get down here.” He reached for her again, but she ran along the thick wooden rod like a gymnast on the balance beam—and executed an, um, interesting dismount off the end onto Juliet’s bed.

  He should have suggested Beezlebub for her name.

  She looked like she’d either gotten the wind knocked out of her or the surprise of her life, but at least she was sitting still.

  Until he went to pick her up. Then she streaked across the bed, leaping like a BMX-er and shoving off his thighs—cat claws included—and ricocheted onto the footstool by the rocking chair, then landed on the floor, and ran under the dresser.

  Of course.

  Tanner sighed. He ought to just let the thing go. If she got lonely, she’d come find him.

  Or she’d shred Juliet’s curtains.

  He walked over to the dresser and was about to hunker down when something on top caught his eye.

  It was a side-by-side frame. On the left was a picture of him and Juliet at the prom and on the right—

  A deep, burning gasp of air filled his lungs.

  Keegan.

  Juliet had kept one of her grandmother’s photos.

  He hadn’t seen the pictures. Hadn’t wanted to. He had his memories. But now…

  Now he couldn’t look away.

  He picked up the frame. Even now, all these years later, his throat closed and he had trouble seeing through the mist of tears in his eyes, but he made himself look.

  Keegan had his nose and his chin. He couldn’t tell about the eyes because they were closed, but the curve of the cheek… That was Juliet’s. He hadn’t had any hair yet and his fingernails were practically transparent and, Jesus, so tiny. So freaking tiny.

  He set the frame down. It wasn’t fair. Look at the two of them, him and Juliet. So happy, the world at their feet. Even the pregnancy hadn’t been the end of the world—rather, the beginning of it. But then it had all come crashing down when they’d lost their son.

  Tanner set the frame onto the dresser and sank onto Juliet’s bed, dropping his forehead onto his palm. Dear God, it still hurt so incredibly much after all this time.

  And she looked at that picture every day.

  Punishing herself? Making herself remember?

  It wasn’t as if he could ever forget.

  He reached for the frame again, but then let his hand fall to his thigh. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t stay here and pretend that they could be friends or move forward. Not with that picture right there. Glaring at him. Daring him to say that his life could be the same.

  A knot tightened in his belly and Tanner had the urge to just roll over onto his side and curl into himself and cry. Just cry for everything he—no, they—had lost. If Keegan had lived, they might have had a chance.

  He sucked in a ragged breath. Much as the idea of shutting out the world and giving in to his grief sounded good, he’d done that before and knew the headache and nauseous feeling that would follow. He had things to do today, people to see. Juliet, her grandmother, Rick. The last thing he wanted to do was show up puffy-eyed with a splitting headache.

  He cleared his throat and pressed his thumb and forefinger against his eyes. He’d been down this road before; he didn’t need to do it again. He loved his son and always would. But life did go on, as a
wful as that sounded, and he had to get moving.

  Of course that was when the kitten decided to peek out from under the dresser, her “meow” sounding like a question.

  Well, it was said that animals could sense a person’s mood, and his was probably blaringly obvious to her.

  He held out his hand and damn if the cute little thing didn’t climb right into his palm and lick his wrist, looking up at him as if she were the most innocent thing in the world, full of trust and love.

  He sighed and shook his head as he stood, then placed her onto his shoulder. She licked his earlobe and curled into a ball in the curve of his neck, purring contentedly.

  “Come on, you. Let’s get some breakfast.”

  His phone rang as he was walking into the kitchen. He ran to his room, grabbed it off his dresser, anticipation taking a hit when he saw that the call was from Gage and not Juliet.

  He’d worry about that feeling later. “Hey, Gage.”

  “Tan. I mentioned to my real estate broker where you are and our expansion discussion, and he just called to tell me about a warehouse that’s for rent about a half hour from you. Any chance you’d want to go check it out?”

  “Yeah, sure. Hang on while I find a pen.” He walked out of his room and headed for the kitchen.

  Juliet had tons of take-out menus, but not one blasted thing to write with.

  He looked around her living room but was out of luck. No way was he heading back into her bedroom, so that left her office.

  “Give me another sec.”

  He didn’t particularly relish the idea of going into her private sanctuary, but then again, he couldn’t imagine anything more personal than the photo on her dresser, so he’d brave it.

  She had a coffee mug filled with pens on her desk, and a pad of sticky notes beside it.

  “Okay, what’s the address?” He wrote it down, juggling Houdini as she moved from one side of his neck to the other “Is anyone going to be there to show me around or am I just doing a drive-by?”

  “He said to let him know what time works for you. Here’s his number. He’ll meet you there.”

  “Okay, sounds like a plan. I have to run Juliet and her grandmother somewhere, but then I should be able to swing by.”

  “Sounds good. Let me know. And if you need more time down there—”

  “I’ll let you know that, too.” Didn’t want to discuss that with him. “Thanks, Gage.”

  “No problem.”

  He hated getting this personal with Gage, but Gage had a nephew with health issues, so the guy was no stranger to this situation. Sucked that they both were dealing with this, but it solidified his desire to want to work with them. The guys had their priorities straight.

  He turned around to leave and caught sight of Juliet’s degrees mounted on the wall beside the door. He hadn’t seen them on his rush in to find the pen, but now he that did, he went over to examine them.

  Juliet Chambers-Wentworth.

  It was only fitting, he guessed, that they were made out in her married name, but he couldn’t believe she was using his name. He would’ve thought for sure she would’ve stayed with her maiden name. After seven years apart—and a honeymoon by herself—he wouldn’t have thought she’d want any remembrance of him, let alone attach his name to hers.

  He ran his fingers over the glass protecting the parchment. It felt both weird and right seeing it there. Something he’d planned for for so long, that he’d wanted, and now…

  And now what?

  He didn’t know what. He didn’t know a lot of what he was doing here or what he was feeling here; but all he knew was that he had a job to do for his future and wallowing in their past wasn’t going to be productive.

  He reached for the kitten and cradled her to his chest. “Come on, little lady. Let’s get something to eat and then I need to get going.”

  To Juliet’s other office. Where he’d find her. And her grandmother. The two women responsible for that image of Keegan. The one that wouldn’t leave his brain.

  This day was just getting better.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Thank you for picking me up, Tanner.” Juliet’s grandmother put her hand on his arm when he settled her into the front seat of the Towne Car. The house was on the way to Juliet’s office and it made more sense to do so instead of backtracking, and backtracking was a habit with Juliet, one he wanted to break.

  “My pleasure, Nana.”

  “And it’s my pleasure to see you and Juliet have worked out your differences. Love is worth it. It’s not always easy, I know, but then, nothing good ever is. If it were, we wouldn’t value it. In the end, it’s all about the love you leave behind, not things. Not business, but family. That’s what’s important.”

  “I know. It’s why I’m here.” Which wasn’t a lie.

  “So Juliet tells me you’re looking to expand your business in town?’

  He certainly hoped Juliet hadn’t told her what business. “It’s a thought. As a matter of fact, once I take you and Juliet to the salon, I’m going to take a look at a location.”

  “Wonderful. Just make sure it has a large parking lot. From what I’ve heard about BeefCake, Inc. you’re going to be wildly successful here.”

  Tanner almost drove off the road. “You know about the club?” He never would have thought Juliet would mention the strip club to her grandmother, but then, what did he know of their relationship over these past seven years?

  “Of course I do. I might be a different generation, but I do know how to use the Internet. Your friends have quite the successful business going.”

  “You looked us up?”‘

  “I had to do something while I was recovering. My body might not be up and dancing, but my mind is still active. I’m quite handy with a search engine, you know.”

  Nana looked quite pleased with herself.

  “I…”

  “You might want to suggest to the owners that they offer some sort of pay-per-view online streaming. It’s not pornography if you’re not naked, and just look at that Channing Tatum movie trailer. You could do something like that to make extra money.”

  He couldn’t believe he was having this discussion with Juliet’s grandmother. “I’ll, uh, mention it and see what they say.”

  “You should. There has to be a way to monetize your shows for more than just drinks and tips.”

  He’d never felt uncomfortable with what he did for a living, but this discussion was doing the job.

  “Tanner Wentworth, are you blushing?”

  “No, ma’am.” Okay, he’d just broken his rule about not lying to her.

  “Yes, you are. And I must say, I find it endearing. But then, I always have found you endearing. You used to look at Juliet with such puppy love in your eyes when you were in elementary school. I knew it’d only be a matter of time before the two of you figured it out. Gemma and I were so happy when you asked Juliet out that first time.”

  He had a vague recollection of the night his mom had driven him and Juliet to the movies. He’d been all sorts of embarrassed at having his mom take them, but of the three parents and Nana, she’d been the one he’d thought would embarrass him the least.

  Now, to find out she and Nana had been discussing them…

  “You are blushing.” She patted his hand.

  “I can’t deny it.” He managed a smile and prayed it wasn’t a sickly looking one.

  She chuckled and put her hand back in her lap. “Love is funny, isn’t it? The greatest feeling in the world, but it also makes us our most vulnerable. To put your complete trust in someone and hand over the essence of who you are… That’s quite a big step. It can be scary. Especially when you’ve been hurt once already.”

  Twice, but who was counting?

  “I have every confidence you and Juliet will make it work this time. You two were meant to be together. We knew it from the first time you saw her.”

  “Nana…” He cocked his head. It was one thing to show up here and sa
y they were working on things; it was another to lie outright and say that they’d all live happily ever after. “We were babies. Whatever chemistry you thought you saw, that was probably gas.”

  It was good to hear her laugh. “Oh, Tanner, you’ll see. Someday, you’ll see what I’m talking about. There’s an… I don’t know, an aura maybe around the two of you when you’re together that most couples, even those who truly love each other, don’t have. Almost makes me jealous. But I had a wonderful relationship. Not unlike yours, I like to think. So I know that if you two can get to where you stop blaming yourselves, you’ll do just fine.”

  Blaming himself? What was she talking about? He didn’t blame himself. He’d gone into the marriages with Juliet—the one that didn’t happen and the one that did—with an open mind and a heart filled with love for her. She was the one who’d messed things up.

  Yes, he blamed her. Because that was where the blame should be. He’d done nothing wrong.

  But, as with her father, he wasn’t going to destroy her grandmother’s illusions. His time here was supposed to give her hope for Juliet’s future, not tear down their past.

  “So how long will this hair appointment take, do you think? I’m headed toward the other side of town, about twenty minutes or so from Juliet’s office.”

  “About two hours. I’m getting it colored.” She patted her hair that had a streak of white along her part among the rest that was as blonde as Juliet’s. “I guess it seems pretty silly to do this considering that it really doesn’t matter, but a woman does like to have some vanity and mine is my hair. Did you know, it used to be as pretty as Juliet’s back when William and I were dating?”

  “I seem to remember it being pretty when I used to live here.”

  “Oh my, Tanner, you are smooth. No wonder you are the most popular dancer at that club.”

  His face flamed. How on earth had she heard about that? “Uh—”